A few months ago, my right foot became infected and I missed three months of work. I spent most of that time lying on a couch in my former wife’s house in Madison. For much of that time, I never left the house except for doctor appointments.
Confined as I was, I spent most of my time reading or watching television. More TV than I had watched in years, perhaps ever. Hopefully, I will never watch that much television again.
Mostly I watched news shows, sports and movies. But when my youngest daughter, Emily, was around, practically the only thing we watched were reality shows. Emily is a smart young woman, but her taste in television is awful. (This must be genetic. My mother was a fan of bad reality shows, too.)
Emily loves to watch house-hunting shows for hours on end. To me, watching one attractive young couple agonize over finding a place to live was enough for a lifetime.
I also endured a show called “Flipping Vegas,” in which a couple, Scott and Annie Yancey, buy “distressed” houses in Las Vegas, overhaul them and sell them in the shortest amount of time possible. This show was fairly amusing because of Scott’s constant complaints about other people’s work. In real life, Scott would be punched several times per day.
Emily also enjoys “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” This show — which is a major threat to Western Civilization — chronicles the lame-brain lives of the “celebrity” family. The worst was having to watch the show’s Christmas special. I’m still trying to recover from the mental and emotional damage that caused.
The best show out of all the reality series I watched was “Duck Dynasty.” Admittedly, the bar was set pretty low.
The show is a redneck comedy which many viewers apparently believe is a documentary. “Duck Dynasty” follows the lives of the Robertson family, which got rich from its business, Duck Commander, in West Monroe, Louisiana. The show has made the Robertsons even richer.
The business, which produces equipment for duck hunters, was founded by Phil Robertson. He also invented the duck call which was the firm’s calling card.
The show centers on Robertson’s third son, Willie, who is the series’ straight man and narrator.
Most of the stories involve Willie, two of his brothers — Jase and Jep — and Phil’s brother, Si. Willie is credited with taking Duck Commander from a family business to a multimillion-dollar empire. (Despite their cornpone antics on the show, Phil and Willie both have bachelor’s and master’s degrees.) But the business savvy and hard work it took to build the Robertson business empire are never seen in the show.
The Robertsons wear their conservative and Christian values on their sleeves, or, in Willie’s case, on his ever-present U.S. flag headband. Every episode ends with a prayer, usually said by Phil at a large family meal.
I continue to occasionally watch the show. It’s often funny, mostly thanks to Willie and the put-upon character he plays. But is it reality? Like most reality series, the answer is no.
The Robertsons admit that the show’s producers come up with the “real-life” situations in the show. The credits for the show don’t list writers, but there are story line producers. There are also credits for stunt drivers and special effects men.
Reality, however, has intruded upon the show. Phil set off a firestorm of protests in December when he said things in a magazine interview that were interpreted as anti-gay. A&E suspended Phil from the show, only to reinstate him nine days later. Ironically, A&E ran a marathon of “Duck Dynasty” episodes for several days during the suspension.
Phil’s return was no surprise. “Duck Dynasty” is A&E’s top-rated show, the No. 1-rated reality series on cable TV and the No. 2 show overall on cable. The Robertsons threatened to take their show to another network if their patriarch didn’t return. A&E knows there would be plenty of bidders if “Duck” became a free agent.
Besides, A&E made nearly $100 million on the show’s ad sales in 2013. And “Duck Dynasty” sold $400 million worth of series-related merchandise.
The show’s ratings have been in decline, though. Wednesday’s Season 6 opener drew 4.6 million viewers. The Season 5 premiere in January drew 8.5 million. The show’s peak was the Season 4 premiere last August, which drew nearly 12 million viewers. That’s the largest reality show audience in cable TV history.
Many have blamed the ratings slide on a backlash against Phil’s statements last year. But TV insiders say it may just be part of the life cycle of a TV show.
Variety’s Rick Kissell wrote, “While the controversy certainly contributed to ‘Duck’s’ decline, it also should be noted that docudramas in general tend to have a relatively short shelf life.”
In the television world, that’s a reality no show can avoid.
• Contact Charles Corder at 581-7241 or ccorder@gwcommonwealth.com.
