A Greenwood native is on mission to give young grieving parents the gift of time.
That gift, however, is something Mary Kathryn Russell, a Pillow Academy graduate who now resides in Brandon, didn’t have in early 2013 when she lost her son, Cannon, after 37½ weeks of what she called a “healthy, happy pregnancy.”
“Between the time that I found out (that he would be stillborn) and the time that I delivered was less than 24 hours,” she said. “In addition to all the trauma you’re dealt, there’s no time to process or feel anything or get your bearings in any way.”
The CuddleCot is a device that, when laid under the surface of a crib, helps cool and preserve a stillborn baby’s body for two to three days, which allows parents time to process and grieve the sudden death of a child.
Through a recent fundraising effort called Cots for Cannon, Russell is aiming to donate CuddleCots to four Jackson-area hospitals.
“It’s a sad fact that this has affected so many women,” said Russell. “And if it hasn’t directly affected them, it’s affected someone they know.”
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Russell, 33, is the daughter of Butch and Amaryliss Mallette, who resided in Greenwood for a little more than 30 years. They moved to the Jackson area about a year ago to be closer to Russell’s family, which includes her husband, Ben, and two boys, Charlie, 5, and Walker, 2.
After high school, Russell attended the University of Mississippi. Upon graduating college, she moved to Jackson, where she is a special education teacher. She specializes in autism but also teaches children with all disabilities in grades K-6 in Brandon.
Russell and her husband married in Greenwood in 2009, and they began trying to conceive in 2012.
Cannon was Russell’s first pregnancy.
Cannon was due Feb. 8, 2013. Later, because of his size, the due date moved up to around Jan. 20.
On the night of Dec. 31, 2012, while lying in bed, Russell realized she wasn’t feeling Cannon move. She was having a normal, healthy pregnancy and was just a few weeks away from her due date.
“I didn’t think much of it,” she said. “I woke up in the middle of the night and kind of had a funny feeling.”
Still not feeling Cannon move, she got out of bed and did the typical things pregnant women do to reassure themselves that the life they are carrying is OK.
“I tried everything in the book to get him to move — orange juice, Coke, cold water, chocolate,” she said.
Russell was worried, so her husband took her to the emergency room.
“He said, ‘Let’s just go to the hospital, and let’s just go get you checked out,’” she said.
After a thorough checkup, the couple were told that Cannon was fine, and his biophysical profile showed no abnormalities.
A little over a week later, Russell was back at school after the Christmas holiday when she began to notice Cannon again wasn’t moving.
“I go back to work thinking the same thing — I hadn’t really felt him move that much,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if I had just not been paying attention or what was going on.”
She talked to the school nurse, who suggested Russell drink a Dr. Pepper and eat a Snicker’s candy bar to get the baby moving.
“At 37½ weeks pregnant, you’re thinking everything’s fine,” Russell said.
The nurse came to check on her and to see if the soda and chocolate stirred the baby.
“She asked how I felt, and I said, ‘I really haven’t felt anything yet,’” said Russell. “She said, ‘I know you’re going to worry, so go ahead and call and make an appointment to get looked at.’”
Russell made an appointment with her doctor for that afternoon and went home to relax and packed two bags — one for her, one for Cannon — for a possible stay at the hospital.
“I was thinking that if I go to the doctor and they say, ‘He’s just too big, we need to go ahead and induce. You need to deliver,’ that I would have everything ready,” she said.
Russell had her bags packed and a completely furnished nursery ready for its new little occupant.
Sonograms were familiar to Russell, and so were the friendly sonographers whom she had chatted with many times before.
“You get used to the sounds and the sights of what you’re supposed to see and hear on a sonogram,” she said. “I just remember lying there and not hearing the heartbeat and looking over at (the sonographer) and seeing her face. She was very serious. I had not seen her that way. She was always smiling and nice and bubbly, and seeing her serious kind of solidified that something was not right. I remember asking her, ‘Where’s the heartbeat?’”
The sonographer said she had to step out for a second and that she would be right back.
Russell knew something was wrong. She called her husband, who was working, and her mother, who was in Greenwood.
Then the sonographer returned.
“She comes in with another doctor in that practice, and she is in tears, and they tell me that they are sorry and that he was gone,” said Russell.
Next followed a whirlwind of events within less than 24 hours.
“They gave me a little while to process and figure out what was actually going on,” said Russell. “I was admitted to the hospital that afternoon — it was probably 4 or 5.”
Later that night at about 9, she was given medicine to induce labor. Cannon was delivered at 10 a.m. the next day, Jan. 8, 2013.
“They took him. They cleaned him up just like they would a normal delivery. They took some pictures and brought him back in for me to hold,” said Russell. “I got to hold him for what was less than 30 minutes — the culmination of 37½ weeks of pregnancy, a fully furnished nursery, monogrammed everything, all these plans, the first baby. It was literally gone in 24 hours.”
During this time of mourning, Russell said a CuddleCot would have been helpful for her and her family as they tried to come to grips with this sudden tragedy.
“Then, you have to prep for a funeral, and it’s very pushed and forced,” said Russell. “Looking back, it was very sad and it’s difficult to process even six years later, much less being forced to process all of this in 24 hours. It’s something I still struggle with.”
• • •
A few months ago, Russell was scrolling through Facebook when a post made by one of her sorority sisters caught her eye.
“It was about a friend of hers named Emily Long from Nashville, and I went through and read her story,” said Russell.
Long’s story is featured on the website of NBC’s “Today Show,” with the title, “This special cot was a lifeline to our stillborn daughter, now we want other parents to have them, too.”
In the article, Long writes about her experience, which was similar to Russell’s. She had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy with an active baby. One night after dinner, a 38-week-pregnant Long couldn’t feel her daughter move. After a visit to the doctor in June, her worst fear was confirmed — her daughter was gone.
“After she delivered, she was given the opportunity to use the hospital’s CuddleCot,” said Russell.
Russell and Long connected and talked about their experiences.
“In her story and in my personal conversations with her, she just seemed very at peace,” said Russell. “She had more closure than I could have ever dreamed of, because she was able to pump the brakes and really look at her and really take her in and really just spend some time with her.”
The CuddleCot, made by the company Flexmort, has been internationally recognized across the world as significantly helping parents who suffer the loss of a baby.
Providing families extra time with a stillborn child is encouraged by midwives, bereavement practitioners, stillbirth/neonatal charities and academics, Flexmort states.
“Parents can have more time to deal and to process, to spend time and wait on family to come so that they can see the baby,” said Russell.
CuddleCots are not typically in hospitals and are usually provided through charities and donations.
Russell was motivated to start Cots for Cannon and begin raising funds to provide CuddleCots to Jackson-area hospitals.
“Comparing and contrasting our stories, I feel like it could make a world of difference for women who have to go through this,” said Russell. “I just feel like it will give them the closure and peace and the gift of time with their baby before they inevitably have to go.”
Russell has already raised enough money to purchase two cots and has raised $1,000 toward the purchase of a third. Each CuddleCot is $3,165, and she’s hoping to receive enough donations for a fourth.
Russell has raised the money through donations and a T-shirt sale.
Having Cannon’s name a part of the fundraising effort was important to Russell.
“I wanted his name more on it than anything else,” she said. “I think it’s important for people to realize that it is sad, but it doesn’t always have to be that horrific sad. You can make it something better. You can make it positive. You can keep their name alive in a positive way.”
To donate to Cots for Cannon, visit www.customink.com/fundraising/cotsforcannon or Like Cots for Cannon on Facebook.
• Contact Ruthie Robison at 581-7233 or rrobison@gwcommonwealth.com.
