Love is such a powerful word. It appears to be used often among couples with no regard to the true meaning. As you observe Valentine’s Day this year in whatever way you choose, please consider the meaning of love and the genuine affection you desire to show to your mate.
Often, marriages end because of misunderstanding or an unwillingness of couples to seek help. Many of these problems can be corrected. Seeking help, however, can help only if couples address issues when they occur instead of masking the problem.
Love is an action word, and it should be expressed all the time. Love is not always shown through gifts, but may sometimes be shown in gestures, such as smiles, compliments, hugs, cooking, ordering takeout when your wife is tired and, mostly, meeting basic needs.
My husband would often say, “Flowers will only die; I would rather do something lasting that you can enjoy over and over again.” My husband understood that I loved flowers, so he compromised and bought me rose bushes or other flowers we could plant in the yard and enjoy year-round.
Often, I like to make reference to one of the most phenomenal movies ever created in my opinion — “Fireproof.” One of the most intriguing comments mentioned in the movie was a father telling his son he could not give what he did not have. Love is something we all must strive to attain for ourselves and give as often as possible. “Fireproof” can teach us so many things if we will open our hearts and minds to receive. I hope one day many will see what I have had the gracious opportunity to receive as it relates to love.
Each year on Valentine’s Day, I see men and women rush out to the various flower shops and stores to buy a gift for their loved ones. There is much thought given to the selection of what they will buy. Many gentlemen have stopped and asked me those famous words, “What do you think? Do you think my (wife or girlfriend) will like this?” As I answer the question, I often think, “I hope they will take great effort when storms come. I hope they will seek help.” Valentine’s Day, I think, is a beautiful event, but we must remember it is only one day that many show gestures of romance. Let us place most of our effort into showing our love year-round to our significant others. Love does not require you to purchase a gift; it requires you to give your heart. When you give your heart, you will definitely give all you have to make your relationship work. As you consider your thoughts and ways to show your significant other love, I would like you to think of it as one action of love in a picture of many to come. Frequently show your mate gestures of love, and you will be amazed at how your relationship will thrive.
I also want to share something I observed some time ago on Valentine’s Day. As I waited to pick up flowers for my mother, I noticed a man enter the store. He seemed to be a bit disturbed, so naturally I asked, “Is everything OK?” To my surprise, he said, “No. I have to buy some flowers for my wife.”
I asked, “Why do you seem so angry about it?” He replied, “Because I will never hear the end of it if I don’t.”
I pondered the idea that he was willing to do something he didn’t want to do (which was good). I was disturbed, however, that he was so angry. The gesture was far from being pure or out of love.
A word of advice: Don’t become reactive in doing what is considered the norm, but do what is right, in authentic generosity, for you and your relationship. Keep in mind that Valentine’s is only one day out of the 365 days in a year. If that is the only day you feel loved, you should take a long look at your relationship. Love is far more important than putting on a show for a day.
I encourage couples to invest in thier marriages. Do something special in your home for your wife, husband or significant other that you do not commonly do. As an effort to celebrate Healthy Marriage Week, I recommend you show many acts of love and kindness. Healthy Marriage Week is from Feb. 7 through Wednesday. The goals of Healthy Marriage Week are to celebrate successful, long-lasting marriages; raise public awareness of the benefits of healthy marriage to children, adults and the community; and provide information about resources for premarital preparation, marriage enrichment and marriage education. Of course, healthy marriages go beyond this week, and we encourage couples to make this a lifetime effort. The Circuit Clerk’s Office will provide a newlywed packet to all couples applying for marriage licenses. It’s great information to read.
For more information and publications on marriage, you may call the Leflore County MSU Extension Office at 453-6803 or email jtb20@msstate.edu.
• Jennifer Russell is an area child and family development agent for the Mississippi State University Extension Service. You may contact her at 453-6803 or jtb20@ext.msstate.edu
