Several of my teacher friends and I were talking last week about why we chose the profession of teaching. The most obvious reason would be that we love children. Sometimes, I think it is for pure entertainment.
Our kindergarten teacher was discussing heaven last week. One of her students said he knew of two people who were in heaven — his papaw and Johnny Cash.
When teaching fourth grade at Cruger-Tchula Academy, a student came to me first thing in the morning and told me that she was sorry about my hair and maybe it would look better tomorrow.
One student told me that her mama and daddy were discussing me at the supper table, and they said they didn’t know why Mrs. Flemming wears all that make-up. I told her to tell them that if they saw me without make-up they would know why. She promised she would let them know. I’ll bet that was a fun conversation at the table.
A first-grade teacher was told by a student on report card day that her daddy said if there were any bad grades this time that somebody is in big trouble. The student thought the teacher should know that she was in trouble if she gave her any bad grades.
I received an email from a friend that was entitled “Why Teachers Drink?” There were excerpts from some answers given to test questions.
It was hilarious. Hope you enjoy some of my favorites.
• Name the 4 seasons.
Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
• How is dew formed?
The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
• What happens to your body when you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
• What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to boyhood and looks forward to adultery.
• Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
Premature death.
• How are the main body parts categorized?
The branium contains the brain.
The borax contains the heart and lungs.
The abdominal cavity contains the five bowels (A,E,I,O,U).
• What is the fibula?
A small lie.
• What does varicose mean?
Nearby.
• What is a terminal illness?
When you are sick at the airport.
• What is benign?
What you will be after eight.
I’ve been concentrating on tailgating recipes lately. Hope you will enjoy these. Thanks for reading.
HAM AND CHEESE BITES
½ pound margarine, softened
3 tablespoons poppy seeds
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
3 tablespoons mustard
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 packages 1-inch rolls
Shredded ham
Shredded Swiss cheese
Blend together margarine, poppy seeds, Worcestershire, mustard and onion. Split the packages of rolls lengthwise. Spread each split side with the butter mixture. Sprinkle the shredded ham and cheese over the mixture. Replace top on rolls. Wrap in foil, and bake for 10 minutes at 400 degrees. Separate or cut rolls apart to serve.
GAME DAY PASTA SALAD
1 (12-ounce) package vermicelli
½ cup olive oil
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons seasoned salt
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 (8-ounce) can sliced ripe olives
1 (4-ounce) jar diced pimientos
6 green onions, chopped, including green tops
4 ounces Feta cheese, crumbled
Cook vermicelli and drain. Mix the olive oil, lemon juice, seasoned salt and mayonnaise, and pour over pasta. Add olives, pimiento, green onions and Feta cheese. Mix well and chill before serving.
SEVEN LAYER BARS
1 stick margarine, melted
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 cup coconut
1 (6-ounce) package butterscotch chips
1 (6-ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup peanuts, chopped
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour margarine into a 9-by-13-inch baking dish, and sprinkle graham cracker crumbs evenly in pan. Next, sprinkle coconut over crumbs. Add butterscotch chips and chocolate chips. Cover with condensed milk, and chop with nuts. Bake for 30 minute. Cool and cut into bars for serving.
• Contact Lee Ann Flemming at lafkitchen@hughes.net.
