I am a person who is known as having a good sense of humor.
Jokes, riddles and puns are something that I always enjoy.
Several weeks ago, I received some hilarious puns that I could not resist sharing with my readers. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. If you can’t laugh at least once during the day, then why even get up in the morning?
• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the worst.
• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
• I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then, it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
• Class trip to the Coco-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
• Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then, it grew on me.
• What does a clock do when it is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.
• I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded the dough.
• Velcro: What a rip-off!
• Venison for dinner? Oh, deer!
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
Hope you enjoy this week’s recipes. Thanks for reading.
SPINACH ARTICHOKE DIP
2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 (15-ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1 (10-ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well-drained
1 (8-ounce) package shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 (6-ounce) package shredded Parmesan cheese
1 cup sour cream
1 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
½ cup finely chopped onion
½ cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon garlic salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 2-quart baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese and next nine ingredients at medium speed until well combined. Spoon into prepared baking dish, and bake for 30 to 40 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Serve with bagel chips or your favorite crackers.
CHEESY BASIL BREAD
1 (16-ounce) loaf French bread
1 (7-ounce) container of basil pesto
1½ cups shredded Mozzarella cheese
Halve bread loaf lengthwise. Spread pesto evenly on both cut sides. Sprinkle evenly with cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until cheese in melted and lightly browned. Slice and serve while warm.
HOMESTYLE CHICKEN SPAGHETTI
1 tablespoon butter
2/3 cup chopped yellow onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 (15-ounce) jar Alfredo sauce
1 (8-ounce) package Velveeta, cubed
1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
3 (15-ounce) cans fire-roasted diced tomatoes, drained
1 (16-ounce) package spaghetti, cooked according to package directions
3 cups shredded cooked chicken
1/3 cup chopped green onion
1½ cups shredded cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 3-quart baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. In a large skillet, melt butter. Add onion and garlic, and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in Alfredo sauce, Velveeta and Italian seasoning until melted and smooth. In a large bowl, combine Alfredo sauce mixture, tomatoes and next three ingredients, tossing until well combined. Spoon into prepared baking dish, and sprinkle with cheddar cheese. Bake for 20 minutes or until browned and bubbly.
• Contact Lee Ann Flemming at lafkitchen@hughes.net.
