Football in the South is totally different than up North. Below are some of those major differences.
How women accessorize:
North: Chapstick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara and a fifth of bourbon. No money is necessary — that’s what dates are for.
Stadium size:
North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
South: High school stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Campus decorations:
North: Statues of founding fathers.
South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
North: Also a physics major.
South: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
North: Rudy Giuliani.
South: The Mannings.
Getting tickets:
North: Five days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
South: Five months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put your name on the waiting list.
Concessions:
North: Drinks served in paper cup filled to the top with soda.
South: Drinks served in plastic cups with the home team’s mascot on it filled less than halfway with soda to ensure enough room for bourbon.
Friday classes after a Thursday night game:
North: Students and teachers are not sure they’re going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
South: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don’t want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
South: RV’s sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting “Game Day Live” to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why they never broadcast from their campus.
Hope you will give today’s recipes a try. Thanks for reading.
BUTTERSCOTCH POUND CAKE
1 box yellow cake mix
1 (3-ounce) box instant vanilla pudding
1 (12-ounce) package butterscotch chips
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup flaked coconut
4 eggs
1 (8-ounce) carton sour cream
2/3 cup oil
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour a bundt cake pan. Combine cake mix, pudding mix, chips, nuts and coconut. Stir in eggs, sour cream and oil. Mix well by hand. Pour into prepared cake pan, and bake for an hour. Check for doneness. Cook for five minutes before turning out to cool.
GAME DAY FRENCH BREAD SANDWICH
1 loaf unsliced French bread
1 jar olive spread
Sliced salami
Sliced ham
Sliced Mozzarella cheese
Slice bread horizontally, and pick out part of the bread filling center. Spread a layer of half the olive spread on the bottom, and let soak in for a minute. Layer the salami, ham and cheese. Finish with the remainder of the olive spread. Place top on sandwich, and wrap tightly in foil. Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes. Slice and serve.
CHEESY CHICKEN POTATO BROCCOLI CASSEROLE
1 (32-ounce) package shredded hash browns
1½ pounds boneless, skinless, chicken breast, cubed and slightly browned
1 (16-ounce) package frozen broccoli cuts, thawed and drained
2 cans cheddar cheese soup
1 (12-ounce) can evaporated milk
1 (6-ounce) can French fried onions
1 (12-ounce) package shredded cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
Combine hash browns, chicken, broccoli, soups, milk and half the onion in a casserole dish that has been sprayed with nonstick spray. Add salt and pepper. Cover with foil, and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. During the last 10 minutes of cooking time, uncover the dish and sprinkle with cheddar cheese and remaining French fried onions. Cook uncovered until cheese is thoroughly melted.
• Contact Lee Ann Flemming at lafkitchen@hughes.net.
