My boyfriend, Trent, has always been one for surprises. The day he asked me out came as a complete shock. I had liked the boy for a while (actually a few days, but when you're 12, that's a long time), but didn't tell anybody because during our younger years, we were sworn enemies.
We used to throw basketballs and bean bags at each other in the gym during PE, and rocks at each other on the playground. Man, I couldn't stand him.
I can still remember what I wore that December day. It was a long-sleeved striped shirt that I didn't like. It was made out of that itchy material and had a goofy bow on the top. I can't remember who bought that shirt for me, but it was one of those shirts you only wear because if you don't, your mom will complain and make you feel bad because somebody spent their hard-earned money on it and you're not being appreciative. It's one of those shirts you wear on days you want to fly under the radar and not be noticed by your peers. I was a pre-teen girl. Image was important to me, and that wasn't a shirt you want to wear the day you fall in love with your future husband. But Trent didn't care. My goofy shirt didn't deter him.
He wrote me a note during class on a lime green post-it note and gave it to my best friend to pass to me. She gave it to me when we got a bathroom break after music class. It read something like this: "Beth, will you go out with me? Yes or no. Circle one." (Side note: We didn’t actually go on a real date until we could both drive. Our “dates” consisted of school and/or church events, and the occasional trip to the Tupelo mall or some other place that our parents drove us to.)
Needless to say, I didn't have a pen on me in the girls bathroom. I threw the note away and told him "yes" in person when we got back to class. He was happy. I was happy. And now I wish I hadn't thrown away that note because now it would be a cool thing to still have.
Last weekend, he surprised me again.
I got home from work at 5 and quickly jumped in the shower because I had been out in the heat on an assignment and wanted to clean up. When I stepped out of the shower, I had a missed call on my cell phone from Trent. I called him back and our conversation went something like this.
Trent: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: Not much, just got out of the shower. Why?
Trent: Well I’m in your parking lot. Come unlock the door.
Me: What?? Why?
Trent: Just do it.
Me: Ughhh. O.K.
So I unlocked the door and ran back to my bedroom to find something semi-presentable to wear. Meanwhile, Trent comes in my front door and proceeds to tell me to hurry up and come out.
“Beth, you’d be a lot happier if you’d open the door,” he said.
“I can’t find anything to wear,” I said.
“Just throw something on and come out here,” he said.
I came out in a T-shirt, no make-up and a towel on my wet hair. To make things even better, the pair of shorts I had quickly slipped into had a hole in them.
As soon as I opened the door to my bedroom, Trent got down on one knee, opened a box containing a ring and asked me that question that every girl waits her whole life to hear.
And with no make-up, a towel on my head and a hole in my shorts, I became a bride-to-be.
Getting all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant is nice, but Trent knew that’s exactly what I would expect. He chose to make everything low-key and ask me that all-important question right when he knew I would least expect it— right when I felt the most awkward and ugly. He used that moment to reassure me that to him, I’m always going to be the most beautiful woman in the world, and there’s no one else he’d rather spend his life with.
I can't say I loved Trent when we were 12 the same way I love him now. Love grows and changes as you grow up. But I can say that I always felt like he was something special, and I'd be making a huge mistake if I ever let him go. He became the best friend I've ever had, and he's been there for me through everything imaginable.
I grew to love him more and more as we went through middle school and high school together. He took me to my first dance, and he was my prom date. We went to separate colleges for the first two years, but I joined him at Ole Miss in 2009. After graduation, I got a job and he went to graduate school. It hasn’t been easy, but when you love somebody, you make it work regardless of circumstances.
People ask me sometimes “How do you know you aren’t making a mistake staying with the same guy and never venturing out to see if there’s something else you might like better?”
I’m content with what I have. Not many people get it right and find the perfect person for them when they’re 12, but I did. And if you find exactly what you’re looking for early in the game, why throw it away for something not as good? I’m one of the lucky ones. I never had a boy break my heart, never had an awkward date with a creep and I get to marry the same person I’ve gone through every life experience with and who knows me better than anyone else on the planet. What more could a girl want?
nContact Beth Thomas at 581-7233 or bthomas@gwcommonwealth.com
