Recently, I was watching the TV show “Parks and Recreation” on Netflix.
Normally at the end of a show on Netflix, a small screen will pop up in the bottom right-hand corner that allows you to skip to the next episode during the credits. For some particular reason, this option wasn’t working for me that night. I could feel myself getting annoyed as I realized that I was going to have to go back to the main menu, find my show, click on the “season” tab and then scroll down to the correct episode to start watching again.
Later, as I was reflecting on this, I wondered how could I be so impatient that I nearly quit watching just because of the supposed “hassle.”
We live in the most streamlined, efficient time ever known to man. We can get in contact with pretty much anyone at all times via either text, phone call or email. Same day shipping is a real thing that FedEx, UPS and Amazon offer us, making waiting for “five to seven business days” seem like an eternity.
Walmart recently began offering store pickup where you can buy your groceries online and then have them delivered to your car, helping everyone avoid the disaster that is the Walmart checkout line.
But all of these advances to limit the amount of time we spend waiting has increased our impatience.
A recent survey of British adults found that respondents became frustrated if they had to wait more than 16 seconds for a website to load or more than 25 seconds for a stoplight to change. All of our advances have made us more easily frustrated when we are forced to wait.
What are things that we can do to cultivate patience as we become an ever-increasingly impatient society?
Like most things, the first step is awareness. Most of the time, we don’t even realize when we get hijacked by frustration due to impatience. To practice being more patient, we must begin by identifying the triggers that set us off. Maybe you lose control of your temper when you have to wait for a while or when you have to explain yourself over and over again or when someone gets on your nerves. Start by taking an inventory of what triggers your impatience.
Once you know your triggers, begin practicing patience in the midst of a trigger.
If you hate having to explain something over and over again, intentionally watch out for the next time you find yourself having to repeatedly explain yourself.
We usually lose our temper without even thinking about it. It’s a reaction to something that irritates us. To begin cultivating patience, we must work extra hard to stop this seemingly involuntary reaction by being more aware what we are thinking and feeling. This is why we must focus on the triggers that can set us off and be on the lookout for them.
It can also help to be aware of the physical feelings of impatience. Notice if you heart rate begins to increase or if your breathing feels shallower. Maybe you can feel the tension rising in your body. Be on the lookout for those physiological symptoms of impatience.
Once you are able to identify that you are feeling impatient, practice thinking of alternative reasons for what could be causing your irritation.
For example, if you are repeating yourself over and over again to someone, maybe the reason is because they didn’t hear you (rather than they a lack of intelligence).
If you get angry at other people for not doing something as quickly as you would like, think of potential valid reasons that might be slowing them down.
By working on this, hopefully you can begin lessening the grip of impatience on your life.
After all, impatience usually only upsets you and the ones you love.
• Mischa McCray is a licensed professional counselor and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Send questions or topics you’d like him to discuss to mmccray@wpcgreenwood.org.
