Most of our lives are made up of mundane moments: grocery shopping, sleeping, cooking and working.
In most people's lives there are a handful of events that are milestones, events so meaningful they shape the course of the rest of your life - marriage, divorce, the birth of children, losing a loved one. These events make us pause, take stock of our lives and either break our spirits, or they light a fire underneath us pushing us forward in pursuit of our passions, helping us to embrace life and the ones we love.
This week held one of these events for me, but unfortunately there was no blushing bride or bouncing baby involved. One of my dearest friends has been faced with the untimely death of a loved one.
This news was so shocking and upsetting, my world temporarily stopped spinning. I felt like I was 16 years old again and learning for the first time how cruel this world can be.
I wish that life was fair, that people didn't hurt or get sick and that death wasn't an inevitable part of life. But I'm thankful that we get to decide how we react to the events that fate throws at us.
As I drove back to Alabama this weekend to be closer to my loved ones and lend a hand if there was anything I could do, I reflected back over the events that have shaped my life and how their aftermath had changed me.
After the death of one of my childhood friends almost seven years ago, I wondered through my grief if I was capable of having children.
I didn't know if I was capable of loving someone that much and taking the chance that I could lose them.
Having children was another one of those defining moments in my life, and I believe losing my friend has made every moment with my children that much sweeter. Sometimes those moments are bittersweet, because I think of him and know what he and his family lost, but losing him made me realize how brief our time on earth can be.
This life is a vapor. You blink your eyes and twenty years have passed while you were sleeping, driving, cooking, working ... living.
I'm fortunate to have few regrets in my own life. But the more I thought about the temporary nature of life, the more determined I became to enjoy and embrace the monotony of my life.
I want to run in the sprinkler with my kids and listen to them laugh until they are squealing with delight. I want to rock my baby to sleep regardless of what the sleep experts say and kiss my children every day until my lips are chapped. I want to make pancakes for my family on Saturday mornings, and spend days, weeks and years in my pajamas playing with them in the floor.
I want to savor crawling into the bed with my husband every night and listening to his breathing becoming slow and even as he falls asleep with the lamp still on while I read. I want to sit in my backyard slapping at mosquitoes, holding his hand and sharing a glass of wine for the next 50 years.
I want to grab a hold of life with both hands and not let go until I've squeezed every drop out of it. It's the only thing I can think to do to honor the people I've loved and lost, the people who have helped me to become who I am today, and the people who I'll carry with me for the rest of my life.
•Robin O'Bryant is a mother to three daughters, author and Greenwood resident. Read more at her blog at www.robinschicks.com or e-mail her at robinschicks@gmail.com.
