Probably most of us have some form of social media, and I’d wager that a fair share of us have made attempts to curb our usage. Maybe you gave up Facebook for Lent or took a break from Instagram.
And then there’s the issue of social media and our children. Should we allow them on it, and if so, for how long? How old should children be before letting them have Snapchat or TikTok?
Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a manual to tell us the answers to all these questions. But is there a link between social media use and mental health?
Dr. Dar Meshi is a neuroscientist who has studied social media and how it affects our mental health. In one of his studies, Meshi looked at the way that participants responded to compliments given to themselves and how they responded when the same compliment was given to someone else. Meshi’s study discovered that some people had a more adverse response to hearing the compliment given to the other person, and that those people tended to use social media more. His findings seem to indicate that the more we use social media, the more we dislike it when we see or hear someone else being complimented.
But what is really interesting is that there’s a particular group of social media users who seem to struggle with this more than others: lurkers. Lurkers are people who use social media to see what others are posting and doing but rarely post themselves. Meshi’s study found that the people who use social media the longest and didn’t post themselves were most likely to have a negative reaction to someone else receiving a compliment.
What can this study tell us?
Well, first it shows us how innate in us it is to compare ourselves to others. Meshi highlights how our brains naturally want to compare ourselves to others around us, but it’s much different how we handle that when we can now compare ourselves to the hundreds or even thousands of “friends” we can have today.
Open up your Facebook feed any day, and you’ll probably see someone posting pictures of an amazing vacation or a newborn child or grandchild or some other monumental moment.
And that’s not even including all of the FOMO (fear of missing out) that social media can create, as we are now more than ever privy to all of the parties in which we weren’t invited.
In spite of all this, though, Meshi doesn’t think that we should all just delete our Facebook and Instagram accounts. Instead, he believes that moderation and certain strategies for how we use social media can help.
First, Meshi notes that active users (those who regularly post) can get a lot out of their social media use. They get the positive feedback from their followers that our brains enjoy.
Second, regularly take breaks from social media. It’s important to put the phone down and live in the present.
Third, don’t be afraid to use the block button. Very rarely will you actually change someone’s views from a comment section war. Instead, block them and move on.
And lastly, educate your kids on why they want to post. Kids don’t have the same ability to think through the consequences of an action as adults do. Help them pause before they post and think about why they want to let everyone see that latest picture.
- Mischa McCray is a licensed professional counselor and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Send questions or topics you’d like him to discuss to mmccray@wpcgreenwood.org.
