Lifestyles Editor
When Portia Lary helped give her husband Steve a 50th birthday party a few years ago, the theme was "Come as You Wish You Were." She showed up pregnant and barefoot.
"That's what I wanted to be," Lary said with a smile. "I really wanted to have lots of kids. I only had two, but we are very blessed with them."
Nominations from family members, along with the heartwrenching and incredible story of how she saved her granddaughter's life, have gained Lary the Commonwealth's 2003 Mother of the Year award.
As Portia Lary looks back on the most memorable moments of motherhood, she's gently and tearfully reminded of the preciousness and fragility of life itself.
Perhaps being in the right place at the right time is only one of many reasons that Lary has been looked upon by all who know her as a very unselfish and giving person.
Surrounded by portraits and family photos throughout the spacious house she shares with husband Lary remembers the joy of motherhood and family times with fond memories and no regrets.
Lary, 55, was born in Greenwood, and she's lived here her entire life, except for her college years at Ole Miss in the mid-1960s. She is the daughter of Millard Ruth Whittington Peteet and the late Porter Weaver Peteet.
She's been married to her high school sweetheart for 34 years. They have two children, Stephen Lary Jr., 32, and Portia Peteet Lary Fountain, 28.
Relishing the strong ties that she has with her entire family, Lary still shares her home with not only her husband, but her mother as well.
"My mother has always been very strong," Lary said. "She's been through a lot physically, and she's never complained. She has a wonderful attitude."
An addition was added to the Lary home a few years back to accommodate her mother, and she resides in a separate part of the house that is complete with bedroom, kitchen and living area.
"We like to call it living together independently," Lary said. She wouldn't have it any other way.
Lary credits a lot of her ideas about motherhood and being a supportive wife to her own mom.
"My mother was behind my daddy in everything he did, and I try to do the same for Steve," she said. "Of course, our generation is different from hers. I worked and she didn't, but mama babysat for me. And, we're seeing that with Portia now."
Lary feels very blessed to have raised their own children in Greenwood with the love, support and closeness of her parents and that of her husband's parents as well.
She has spent her life in the teaching profession, and it fit with what she enjoyed most in life.
"I loved teaching. I just love children," Lary said. "I had to quit when I had some health problems and also when my parents' health got bad. It was very hard for me to give it up. I remember crying over that decision. "
But, she now happily uses the free time to visit her children and grandchildren.
"Both my children married six weeks apart," Lary said. "My son, Stephen, got married right here in our home."
The home on East Adams was built by Lary's parents in 1953. Lary sees it as a family tradition that has been kept alive.
"My children were half raised in this home," she said.
Lary always felt that one of her main goals was to give her children self-confidence and plenty of praise.
"Even when you're mad at them for doing wrong, it's important to let them know you love them," Lary said.
While teaching elementary grades at Pillow Academy, Lary remembers that she was glad she could teach in the same school where her children were involved.
"They were older, but it was fun to be involved at a distance," Lary recalls.
Lary tried very hard to be there for her children, and she was very involved with them and loved spending time with them.
"Stephen was very involved in athletics growing up, and he's still active in golf with his father," Lary said. "And we loved having both our children at Ole Miss, since that's where Steve and I both went. They are fourth-generation Ole Miss students."
As crazy as life gets when raising children, one thing that Lary tried to do every single night was to have a sit-down dinner.
"That was important to me, and I really stuck with that," she said. "And I always thought it was important to raise them in a church family."
One of the most memorable family traditions of the Lary family was to visit Crescent Beach, Fla., each year. Lary's sister has a place there, and they still travel to this east-coast spot to spend family time together.
"And everyone always gathers at our home for Christmas," Lary said.
Once her children were raised, Lary looked forward to sharing her love with her grandchildren. She never realized at the time just how crucial her role would be in touching the lives of Luke and Mary Porter.
In January 2002, Lary welcomed grandson Luke Lary into the world.
"He was born on the day that Steve was in charge of the Chamber of Commerce meeting," Lary said. "We rushed to Jackson. He was two weeks early, and he had to be in intensive care for a few days because his lungs were premature."
Mary Porter was born on Feb. 13 of this year, and Lary and her husband were there for the event.
"On February 15, she was sent home from the hospital, and we were happy and blessed."
Upon arrival at home, everyone became concerned that the baby wasn't eating. Steve came back to Greenwood that night, and Lary stayed behind to help with her new granddaughter.
"At 10 p.m., she still was not eating, and Portia and Will were just exhausted," Lary said. "We called the doctor, and he told them to go to bed. I'm glad I was there."
Lary remembers that she had never felt God's hand and presence intervening as it was that night in Memphis.
"At the last minute, we decided to move her bassinet into my room for the night," Lary said. "Portia and Will went to bed, and an hour later I was holding the baby."
What happened next is a moment that is etched on Lary's mind forever.
"I went to put her down, and she wasn't moving or breathing," Lary said. "I turned away, then looked back. I knew something was wrong, but it didn't register with me at first. She was turning gray, and her face was blue.
"I jostled her, and she started breathing again," Lary said. "I went to wake up Will, and we literally got in the car and flew to the hospital."
Upon arrival, Lary remembers the emergency staff cleared out the entire pediatric emergency room area.
"Within just a few short minutes, they were telling us it was critical," Lary said. "They told us it could be several possibilities, most of which were fatal. The chaplain was soon there, and we were calling family members. It was happening that fast."
Lary remembers when they put Mary Porter in an ambulance to move her to another building, and the nurse and doctor crawled into the ambulance with her.
"That struck me hard. I thought that was very odd, just to be going to another building," Lary said.
The diagnosis was bacterial spinal meningitis caused from a Strep B infection during delivery. For the next four long and excruciating days, Mary Porter was given a 50 percent chance for survival.
The baby spent three weeks in the intensive care unit, and she now is being cared for by a physical therapist as well as her regular doctors, and everything looks promising.
"I'm on the bandwagon now," Lary said. "It was devastating to find out the infection was preventable, and my goal now is to educate people about this."
Lary has connected with many national organizations, and is getting more and more information about the cause and effect.
"It's been a horrible ordeal, but every test they have done so far has had a good outcome," Lary said.
Doctors are making sure to follow up on everything from brain to neural activity to vision, and it's all positive.
While Mary Porter spent weeks in the neo-natal intensive care unit, Lary was approached by many different nurses asking the same question, "Are you the grandmother?"
"I feel like she saved her life," Portia said.
In retrospect, Lary does feel like God put her there to save her grandchild.
"Something told me to just go the hospital with her," Lary said. "Will wanted to call the doctor first, but I said, 'Let's just go.'"
"We've just been grasping at anything encouraging. It's hard enough for any newborn, but everything is now magnified after being through this," Lary said. "When your child hurts, it's hard. I feel like I had a double dose - my child and my grandchild.
"I told Portia that I feel so strongly that God put me in that place at that time to save that baby," Lary said. "Every person's future is in God's hands, and I think God uses us among each other.
"I came home once or twice during the ordeal, and I could just cry and let it all out, but Portia had to keep up her stamina, and that was hard."
Lary recalls only one other time that she felt true intervention from God.
When her son Stephen was 6, he was attacked by a dog.
"His head was completely mauled, and I had to drive him to the hospital. He had to have 100 stitches in his head," Lary said. "We came so close to losing him."
Lary admits the hardest thing about being an effective mother is not being able to "fix" things for your children.
"That keeps on going even when they are grown, I'm afraid," Lary said.
"My mother has always been completely unselfish," Portia said. "She was so happy for us to have more than she did. We never had a day in life that we didn't know that she put us first, and I hope that I will be willing to sacrifice as much as she has."
On this Mother's Day, Lary has one memento in particular that reminds her of the unselfish love of her children.
"When Stephen was in the fifth grade, he made me a cross stitch that says 'Happy Mother's Day,'" Lary said. "It still hangs in my bathroom to this day."
