When we travel to the city of Jackson, I always pause when we leave the Lexington Square and pass a church on the outskirts of the town. I thoroughly enjoy reading the church’s marquee messages for the week. I don’t know who is responsible, but they never disappoint.

I ran across some other classic messages that I would like to share with you.

Remember that Proverbs 17:22 tells us “A merry heart doeth good like medicine.”

• Too Hot to Keep Changing Sign

Sin Bad Jesus Good

Details Inside

• Too Cold to Change Sign

Message Inside

• “Don’t Make Me Come Down There,” signed God

• How do we make the Holy water? We boil the hell out of it!

• “I hate this church,” signed Satan

• Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted.

• Sin burns are protected by son screens.

• Forgive your enemies. It will mess with their heads.

• I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.

• Whoever stole our AC units: Just keep them. It is hot where you are going.

• Morning Sermon: “Preparing for Marriage”

Evening Sermon: “A Look at Hell”

• Lent: Not just for the bellybutton.

• Be the kind of person your pet thinks you are.

• Do not criticize your wife’s judgment — look at who she married.

• Acting perfect in church is like dressing up for an X-ray.

• If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

• May all your troubles be as short as your New Year’s resolutions.

• What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin’ Catholic

• Our Sundays are better than Dairy Queen.

• Trust in God — but lock your car.

• If your life stinks, we have a pew for you.

I hope you will give this week’s recipes a try. Thanks for reading.


¼ cup butter

½ pound sliced fresh mushrooms

1½ cup rice, uncooked

3½ cup beef broth

2 tablespoons minced dried onion

1 (1-ounce) package au jus gravy mix

½ teaspoon oregano

Salt and pepper to taste

Melt butter in a large skillet. Add mushrooms and rice. Cook for five minutes until golden. Add remaining ingredients, and stir to combine. Bring to a boil, and reduce heat to low. Cover and cook for 20 minutes until all liquid is absorbed and rice is tender.


2 (11-ounce) cans corn, drained

2 (4-ounce) jars diced pimiento, drained

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

½ teaspoon garlic salt

1 (8-ounce) container sour cream

1 cup mayonnaise

3 green onions, sliced

Mix all ingredients, and refrigerate until serving with your favorite chips and crackers.


1 package yellow cake mix

1 (3-ounce) package vanilla pudding mix

½ cup cold water

½ cup vegetable oil

½ cup rum

4 eggs

2 cups chopped pecans

In a large bowl, mix first six ingredients. Stir in chopped pecans. Pour into a greased and floured bundt cake pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 55 to 60 minutes until toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes while preparing glaze.


1 stick butter

1 cup sugar

¼ cup water

½ cup rum

Pinch of flaked sea salt

Melt butter, and add sugar and water. Bring to a boil, and stir for five minutes until syrupy. Add rum and a pinch of salt. Invert cake onto serving dish, and poke holes in cake. Pour glaze over and cool cake completely.

• Contact Lee Ann Flemming at lafkitchen@hughes.net.

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